Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
