We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
