I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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