Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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