There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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