Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
