Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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