hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
