Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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