its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
