I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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