It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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