I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
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So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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