dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
