Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
birth control should be required to get into college
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
