I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i came on her dog
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
