She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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