she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
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nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
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The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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