Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
