Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
