well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
