I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
