Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
