Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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