PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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