I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
