Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
