you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
