Yo dont text me then not text me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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