I murdered the dance floor call the cops
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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