I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
