i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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