i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
