This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
