Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
