i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Oh god it's open bar.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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