peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
