Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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