what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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