come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
