just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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