wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
