i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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