I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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