Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
did i just pee glitter
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
