i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
