I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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