Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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