if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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