spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
