do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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