i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
