laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
