They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
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