Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
