My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
