Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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