Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
